growing the hard way

 hi.  i love to learn.  i don't always think i'm an easy learner, and sometimes, like a high school drum line, things have to be POUNDED into my head.  but i'll get it eventually.  

there are lots of changes going on around me and i am trying to keep up.  there are new things being introduced, new challenges, new projects, new blogs, new to do's, new expectations, new ideas....ideas.  that's where we'll land.  

i have this idea for this quote that cristie sent me this last weekend and i have this idea as to put my own touch to it...texture, font, and then print and hang it in this poster frame i have (you can see it in the background).  the idea has been there about 3 days.  and every time i try to sit and do it, i get distracted by all sorts of things, but really, the distraction is everyone else's ideas i keep coming across.

well, i keep hearing in my head "quit being a chameleon."  it's like an annoying ring in my ear.  but over and over i hear it.  and i even had a conversations about me thinking my ideas are wrong today...weird.  so i keep hearing it and i keep trying to get rid of it, i keep trying to justify it, so i just decide to look it  up (in my very vintage dictionary i saved from an evil trash can) "chameleon."  and in there i see the word "fickle", so i look it up.  ugh.  conviction.  it's not pretty, and definitely not who i want to be.  here's the gist of the def:

-someone marked by the lack of steadfastness, stability, constancy

see what i mean?  so here's what i've decided or learned.....will learn.....am in the process of learning....whatever, i'm getting it.  anyway, in ALL things i must be true to who i am. stable in all i do-  spiritually, emotionally, and in the physical.  i have been created unique.  just like you.  i am unlike anyone else.  i think differently, i react differently, i learn differently, i love differently, and i decorate differently.  my style is my own.  i'm just me.  i can no longer feel guilty for that, think its wrong or try to change it.  i MUST be stable in who i am.  i can't waver in who i am, and i can't try to please everyone.   hi, i'm me.  welcome.  

so, i'm sure it sounds a little silly, but it's one of those little lessons that is a huge deal to me.  but that's what i'll do, from this point forward.  i'll just be me.  and there's nothing wrong with it. i feel as though i should have named this blog, "simple little lessons" because those are the ones i'm learning. but, what ever it takes.   

so the next time you see me.  hopefully you'll see all that I am, and nothing else.  i am His child, His possession-His.  i am fully determined.  

thank you red dictionary.

thank you r&c - two of my favorite teachers.

thank you Father for Your constant running after me.