Wednesday, October 31, 2012

this time of year - hush

i'm not sure what it is about this time of year that causes me to want to share my thoughts with the world of the web, and this post is kind of all over the place.  i'll get more specific soon, but never the less...

this is my second attempt at this post.  and to think that i could even possibly get the last 7 months down  or explained would be silly.  the work that God has been doing in me is deep, far from over, incredible, and...

painfully necessary.

i think as we go about our daily lives and circumstances we plant roots in places of our soul that roots were never meant to be.  the roots become so entangled in the compartments we try to keep organized, that the foundation eventually crumbles.  and ripping out of the roots is work.  real work.

and hello that's me.

i hadn't realized the unhealthy deep, deep binding roots of relationships i was or had been in, and how my past - and my every day decisions - were affecting me.

i am learning to slow my mind down. i have had to end some relationships, put some on hold, re-evaluate others.  i have wept for forgiveness.  i have struggled to make it through some days.  i have been lonely and at times very afraid.  the process has made me angry.  i have begged for His Presence to surround me. i've been disappointed and sad. and i've hurt.




He has come through. He has forgiven me.  He has provided.  He has been the Light unto my path.  He's given even more grace. He hushed me so i could hear Him.  He doesn't often yell to get our attention.  i think He whispers in our ear and we're too busy being loud that we won't hear what He's saying.  Sarah Young writes in Jesus Calling, "Quietness is the classroom where you learn to hear [His] voice."

and this is my main point for telling you all of this:  hush.

He is going to do His best work in us when we're still and quiet enough to hear what compartments to clean out.  and when He tells us to take the axe to something, we won't miss the blessing of being free.  and freedom is bliss.  bliss my friends.