richmond for lunch

so i'm hangin' out with the little sister and her in-law family for thanksgiving this year.  a change in scenery for me, so it's been a little weird.  but everyone has been SO nice to me, and welcomed me with open arms.  today, i spent the afternoon alone while everyone worked.  like a goober, i forgot my "real camera," and settled for a few iphone shots.  i'll elaborate more later on the trip, but for now, here are some shots.

an old fashion suit company.  by appointment only.

just the side of a building.  great texture.

i wish the iphone picture did it's beauty justice

another cool church

love it.

i liked the color contrast on all the pieces. classic photo spot 

a place where no one knows your name for lunch.

inside.  so quaint.

GO HERE!  it's delish!

peace and love.

a long time comin' or for Kristin

hi. ya. its been a long time. i have to move on though, before i forget...

remember THIS post and the bath...mmmkay. well, tonight the house was perfectly still, i'm the only adult home and the ache in my hands and arms is pretty awful, so i decide to take a bath.

tonight, the water is hotter than normal (don't worry it doesn't get weird). as mentioned in the fore-mentioned post, i gently step into the water. and it was like the Lord instantaneously started speaking. here's the gist...

i've taken a slight detour in my road of life. i'm not where He told me to go and to be, and in a lot of ways i'm reaping the consequences of that. curious to know? here's a few:

-relationships (boys and close friends - x2)

-health

-creativity

-sound mind (this is a whole other chapter, trust me, its bad)

-finances

like i said, a few. back to what He said. He warned me that the steps back into the waters were more cautious on my part, not His. that the water isn't hotter (let that sink in...). He also said that the things He's promised me are so close. if i'll just stick close by, and hold His hand they would start to come to fruition.

i had dinner with a dear friend and mentor this week. and she listened to all my complaints and ho-hums. we laughed at how ridiculous this circumstance was and i yelled about how mad i was - at me. and then she said something like this - however far i've drifted from His plan, the journey back didn't have to take as long.

pretty good, huh? think about it. let it sink in.

lets say i had been drifting for 45 years away from the Lord. in a matter of seconds, i can be right back where He intended me to be.....

i read this quote on my twitter feed today: "It's not repentance that causes the Father's love, but rather the reverse."

i'm still in love with my first Love.

sorry if the whole bath thing is weird. it's where He spoke, i simply listened. i hope it made sense.

i know that you are for me

the days since i've been here last seem too numerous. but maybe not...there have been a lot of going-ons in the world of "me".

the Lord is challenging me in big, big ways. the kind of challenges that take you right out of your comfort zone. the kind that make your heart race and the kind that make you so uncomfortable you don't even feel like yourself. but all at the same time you feel empowered, strong and beautiful.

its an tranquil ride.

i'm actually really enjoying it.

i am having to keep my feet on the ground, remind my self that i am not a magician and that only He can make all this work.

so in my humanness i started trying to figure it all out and cloud hop. i needed to just pray and have a few relaxing moments alone with the Lord the other night. i knew if i went to my room or starbucks, i would find a hundred other things to do or focus on. so what did i do? i took a bath. now, if you don't know me very well, there's probably a little something that you should know about me. i hate taking baths [don't ask, another post for another time]. anyway, i knew it was the only way, so i turned the water as hot as it would go, put some baby bubble bath stuff in there, like i do for the little guys around our house, and eased my way in.

too much info?

sorry.

let me explain.

in the quietness of the bathroom and the stillness of the water, i heard the Lord begin to speak. He talked about the path He's taken me down. how He's had to ease me into the plan He has for me. because He knows me best. had He swooped me up and thrown this daughter of His right into the middle of the water, it would have burned and been excruciating to figure out what to do once there. i wouldn't have trusted Him enough to let Him put me there. instead, He took my the hand, and gently led me right to the place He wants me. He led me by, and right to the still waters, that i might see His full and complete purpose for my next step in life with Him. to know why now, and not then.

He spoke of trust, and if i continued to try and figure it all out, my humanness would see me OUT of the water. that it wouldn't make any sense. that i couldn't handle all that He had for me.

how amazing that His plans are so much greater than what i can create in my own head. He loves me enough to create a way specific to just me. how He loves me so.

He has adequately prepared me, lead me down a path. just the way He knew i would need Him too.

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so all day today, i can't get away from this song. i woke up singing it. here are the words. written for me on this day.

So faithful

So constant

So loving and so true

So powerful in all You do

You fill me

You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to You

I know that You are for me

I know that You are for me

I know that You will never

Forsake me in my weakness

I know that You have come now

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who You are

So patient

So gracious

So merciful and true

So wonderful in all You do

You fill me

You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to You

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peace and love.

p.s. i don't hate baths as much anymore. ;)

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sketch that!

i'd like to think i'm a writer, an artist. some tell me that i am...but my greatest quest is to find out what I AM says that i am. i believe He's called me to be an artist of all kinds. i just have to believe that the ability is really in me.

what am i afraid of.

what will i discover.

where will it take me.

can i do it.

i don't want to be a fake.

here goes nothing.

so in effort to develop the skill i must believe is in me, i'm taking this class. i'm really excited. it starts tomorrow and i have to go get supplies...like going back to school shopping (too bad i don't need an outfit).

i am so excited to see where it takes me, and what skills are dug up from within.

i think He's got great things in store.

here we go!

snow.day

who wouldn't want to spend the whole day with that little face?

i absolutely love unexpected days off. off from alarms, rushing, traffic, work, making my bed, e.mails, office phones, all things ordinary.

i am thoroughly enjoying the peace and serenity, the warmth in my heart and in the house, the late cups of coffee and the smell of home made cookies.

there will be crafting, baking, creating, giggles and playing in the snow.

all through out the day i've prayed for my own home i'll have some day. i stood in the doorway and snapped a few pics of jaxson running through the snow, i even secretly and silently prayed for my own children i hope to have some day. and my heart sang.

happy snow day everyone.

tick. tock. tick. tock

first, you should know this about me. i HATE, HATE, HATE clocks that tick. HATE THEM. they cause my insides to cringe and i feel as though my entire body is trying to set itself to the "beat" of the clock. its very painful. it's very distracting. hate them.

so. yesterday, i go to get my hair cut. and while i'm there i also buy a very cute watch from hair cutter-extraordinaire. this watch is very cute. i get back to my office around lunch time and am blogging (i know what you're thinking, your wasting time! hello, i know). anyway. while blogging i realize this watch ticks so loud that its echoing in the metal casing its in. it is L-O-U-D! and painful! and more than annoying. so, as a result, i sit with my arm behind my chair the rest of the day. i really did, it's that annoying too.

that brings me to today. once again, i'm farting around on the internet for a while, and then decide to import the video announcement footage to my iMovie to begin editing. i click on the camera import button, and instead of the computer realizing i have one connected to it, it pulls up my laptop camera and i see this message behind me:



in case you can't read it says, "undisciplined time will always flow toward weakness." the quote you see is from my pastor. he said that a few weeks ago in his sunday morning message. this is where my whole time revelation came from.

not only is the watch a constant reminder of my time passing me by, but i have this too. the Lord is clearly trying to teach me something. rearrange me in a way. in fact, He wrote it on my wall...which is something we all wish that He would do every now and then, right? have you ever said, "God, i need answer. i think i know the answer, but if you could just leave me a message somewhere for me to see, that would be awesome. like leave me a note or write it in the sky?" well i got one on a calendar/dry erase board - turned message board.

no, i will not be taking my very irritating watch back. and no, i won't be erasing that board any time soon. and i'm very grateful for the very tough lesson being learned.

peace and love.

fly by.

it was a foggy day here in fort worth yesterday...cold (not frigid, just cold), dark, damp, and still. yes, still. i have a lot of feelings about foggy, wet rainy days. for the most part, i don’t care for them. my joints hurt and i want to just stay in my bed where its warm and comfy. and i can’t. its fairly irritating.

anyway. so while this very still day is happening, i am reminded of a lot times that have passed me by and time i let fly by, with nothing to show for it. it started with how fast my morning at work went. for me it was work, for 800 other people, it was church. when i got home and walked through the garage, i started to stop, look back at my car and wonder, “what just happened?” it was very strange. it was like the morning came and went, with no warning. and after lunch, we all stopped for a quiet rest time...except for jaxson (and here’s where this whole time thing began to unravel). i was laying on the couch fixing to doze off and he started to talk to me about the video game he was playing. i had no idea what he was talking about, but i couldn’t help but feel a little sad that my 4 year old - very-close-to-being-5-year-old buddy was growing up WAY too fast. and then i thought of sweet little parker-boo that a year ago was just so itty-bitty and is now a walking, super cute chunky monkey. and then jeremy and kimber came over and i was reminded of their wedding last june, and my sisters wedding in july, and all that the two couples are accomplishing since their union. it’s A-MAZING to watch. and then there’s the holidays, and opportunities, and....all of these wonderful memories just went flying by in my head, followed by the silent reminders of all i have ever wanted to do, and haven’t. things i made excuses for not accomplishing. and on the inside i had to scream, “STOP!”

i can’t tell you if its change that intimidates me the most or time in general. i have all these hopes and dreams and desires and passions and i frantically beg the Lord to bring them about some how, some way. throwing the typical, “but of course, only if it’s Your will.” blah.

but my thoughts led me to our greatest example of how life should be lived and time should be spent. Jesus. now i can honestly tell you i have not read the Bible all the way through. and i can say that i haven’t read the new testament in its entirety. but what i have read about Jesus and His life here on our planet was that His time was spent wisely. He didn’t sit at the well with the woman, and all of a sudden jump up frantically and say, “holy cow, look at the time! i was supposed to be with ‘the guys’ 15 minutes ago. CRAP!” and run off. He also never went to pray and told the Father, “i over slept today, we’ll try this whole prayer thing tomorrow.” nope. everything He did was intentional, deliberate, and time spent wisely.

i say ALL of that to say this. i made a list of new years resolutions. for the first time EVER. they were all prayerfully chosen and very intentional. but one of the things that the Lord is speaking to me about is my time. i’m terrible at it. i snooze my alarm from anywhere to 15-45 minutes every morning. i can say i’m almost done, or packing up to leave work or anywhere else, and two hours will go by. not only frustrating to me, but frustrating to others as well. i get lost in creative thought and lose half a day at work. i have a list in my head at the beginning of the day of all the things i’m going to do with my free time, and at whatever late hour i decide to go to bed i realized i’ve gotten nothing done. and the list goes on.

Lord, help me to live with intention, and for wisdom to come in time.

peace.