a long time comin' or for Kristin

hi. ya. its been a long time. i have to move on though, before i forget...

remember THIS post and the bath...mmmkay. well, tonight the house was perfectly still, i'm the only adult home and the ache in my hands and arms is pretty awful, so i decide to take a bath.

tonight, the water is hotter than normal (don't worry it doesn't get weird). as mentioned in the fore-mentioned post, i gently step into the water. and it was like the Lord instantaneously started speaking. here's the gist...

i've taken a slight detour in my road of life. i'm not where He told me to go and to be, and in a lot of ways i'm reaping the consequences of that. curious to know? here's a few:

-relationships (boys and close friends - x2)

-health

-creativity

-sound mind (this is a whole other chapter, trust me, its bad)

-finances

like i said, a few. back to what He said. He warned me that the steps back into the waters were more cautious on my part, not His. that the water isn't hotter (let that sink in...). He also said that the things He's promised me are so close. if i'll just stick close by, and hold His hand they would start to come to fruition.

i had dinner with a dear friend and mentor this week. and she listened to all my complaints and ho-hums. we laughed at how ridiculous this circumstance was and i yelled about how mad i was - at me. and then she said something like this - however far i've drifted from His plan, the journey back didn't have to take as long.

pretty good, huh? think about it. let it sink in.

lets say i had been drifting for 45 years away from the Lord. in a matter of seconds, i can be right back where He intended me to be.....

i read this quote on my twitter feed today: "It's not repentance that causes the Father's love, but rather the reverse."

i'm still in love with my first Love.

sorry if the whole bath thing is weird. it's where He spoke, i simply listened. i hope it made sense.

i know that you are for me

the days since i've been here last seem too numerous. but maybe not...there have been a lot of going-ons in the world of "me".

the Lord is challenging me in big, big ways. the kind of challenges that take you right out of your comfort zone. the kind that make your heart race and the kind that make you so uncomfortable you don't even feel like yourself. but all at the same time you feel empowered, strong and beautiful.

its an tranquil ride.

i'm actually really enjoying it.

i am having to keep my feet on the ground, remind my self that i am not a magician and that only He can make all this work.

so in my humanness i started trying to figure it all out and cloud hop. i needed to just pray and have a few relaxing moments alone with the Lord the other night. i knew if i went to my room or starbucks, i would find a hundred other things to do or focus on. so what did i do? i took a bath. now, if you don't know me very well, there's probably a little something that you should know about me. i hate taking baths [don't ask, another post for another time]. anyway, i knew it was the only way, so i turned the water as hot as it would go, put some baby bubble bath stuff in there, like i do for the little guys around our house, and eased my way in.

too much info?

sorry.

let me explain.

in the quietness of the bathroom and the stillness of the water, i heard the Lord begin to speak. He talked about the path He's taken me down. how He's had to ease me into the plan He has for me. because He knows me best. had He swooped me up and thrown this daughter of His right into the middle of the water, it would have burned and been excruciating to figure out what to do once there. i wouldn't have trusted Him enough to let Him put me there. instead, He took my the hand, and gently led me right to the place He wants me. He led me by, and right to the still waters, that i might see His full and complete purpose for my next step in life with Him. to know why now, and not then.

He spoke of trust, and if i continued to try and figure it all out, my humanness would see me OUT of the water. that it wouldn't make any sense. that i couldn't handle all that He had for me.

how amazing that His plans are so much greater than what i can create in my own head. He loves me enough to create a way specific to just me. how He loves me so.

He has adequately prepared me, lead me down a path. just the way He knew i would need Him too.

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so all day today, i can't get away from this song. i woke up singing it. here are the words. written for me on this day.

So faithful

So constant

So loving and so true

So powerful in all You do

You fill me

You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to You

I know that You are for me

I know that You are for me

I know that You will never

Forsake me in my weakness

I know that You have come now

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who You are

So patient

So gracious

So merciful and true

So wonderful in all You do

You fill me

You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to You

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peace and love.

p.s. i don't hate baths as much anymore. ;)

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